Monday, 2 May 2011

Movie Review: Total Recall (1990)

Total Recall (1990): So after finding out that Minority Report was initially pitched as a sequel to Total Recall, what better reason than to watch said Arnie film? After all, it's science fiction, it's early 1990s, it's Arnold Schwarzenegger. How can it go wrong? The answer is, well, not really. It's exactly what it sounds like: A 1990s science fiction film starring Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The film focuses on a man in the future (again, 20whatever) named Douglas Quaid, played by Arnie. He's just an average bum, working on a construction site. BUT HE'S NOT. How boring would that be, if he was just an average bum. OR IS HE. And there we have the question throughout the film. Yer boy Arnie's got aspirations of going to Mars. To display this, the opening scene sees Arnie on Mars in a space suit with some woman. He falls down a hill (more of a slight incline), then his eyes bulge and he wakes up screaming. This makes him decide "Mars is for me", so yeah, he's pretty thick. His wife, played by Sharon Stone's, not so happy about this. Probably because of the bulging eye thing. So he decides to go for some new experimental treatment that will implant memories of him going to Mars. Except it doesn't work, and halfway through the procedure he goes a bit mental and they throw him out, eradicating all records of him even being there. When he wakes up, he gets attacked by people he considering his friends and gets messages informing him he's actually from Mars and he's not who he thinks he is. The film goes on to detail his attempts to work out who he is.

Uh, huh.

The future in this world's much more entertaining that Minority Report, although it's a whole lot freakier. As you see above, there's a woman with three tits. There's also a main character who reveals his brother, a small baby-like organism attached to his stomach. I say baby-like, it's basically a talking baby. And said baby gets shot in the fucking head, which is the closest to that that I have ever seen in a film. There's also a man with a head that's all, like, folded up, but that could probably happen so that's not as funny. The film's also loaded with quality Arnie zingers, which is really what you employ the man for. You've got the best, "You think this is the real Quaid - it is" followed by relentless gunfire, plus the classic "You wouldn't hurt me, I'm your wife" followed by a shot to the head and "Consider that the divorce". The film is relentlessly corny but that's all part of its charm and it's thoroughly entertaining. The bits toward the end where they deal with some shit about mining on Mars are a bit of an afterthought despite their best efforts (until the final scenes, really) and the ending's a bit of a cop out but the stuff around the middle concerning Quaid's identity where he's on the run is rather good. The film's not one of the best but it's completely entertaining and a lot of fun. One thumb up.

As an aside, I have to document my love for Arnold films where he's just given a normal stereotypical American name and profession, yet he looks like Arnold and he sounds like Arnold. He's Jimmy Smith but he speaks with a thick Austrian accent. Nobody ever points it out. Nobody makes fun of it. Nobody notices it. Not even his American wife or his American kids, who appear unaware their father is Austrian. I love Arnold Schwarzenegger. 

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